Nursing and Torticollis

I nursed my son Joseph for 13 months. We had a very rocky start so sometimes it’s hard to believe that we made it that far! I didn’t expect to have these challenges. I had attended a breastfeeding class in my last month of pregnancy and knew there was a learning curve. My mom, aunts, and mother-in-law were once active in LLL, so I thought I’d have plenty of support if I ran into problems.

Joseph was born full-term after a physically exhausting delivery. I wasn’t able to push him out on my own and was running out of strength at the end. The doctor recommended a c-section but I requested vacuum extraction. I knew I could do it – I just needed some help. Fifteen minutes later, Joseph was born with the suction cup stuck fast to his head. A medical team was ready in case of complications, but Joseph was strong and healthy. I was stitched up and Joseph was brought over to me. I tried to nurse him in the delivery room without success.

Over the next 2-3 days in the hospital, I tried repeatedly to nurse Joseph. Sometimes he latched on right away, sometimes after 45 minutes of trying. Most of the time Joseph flailed around in frustration, and I began to panic with each failed feeding. The post-partum nurse(s) couldn’t help much and sometimes ignored my frantic pages. The lactation consultant in the hospital was able to get Joseph nursing within a few minutes. I couldn’t reproduce her magic. She gave me a SNS (supplemental nursing system) which is lovely idea but worthless when your baby won’t latch on.

At home, we had a couple of mediocre nursing sessions but suddenly Joseph wouldn’t latch anymore. He began to scream every time I moved him toward my breast. At first I believed that I could be successful nursing through sheer strength of will. I read every nursing resource I could find and called family for advice. Joseph, however, had a mind of his own and seemed to hate nursing. It was the first of many parenting lessons that he taught me. Joseph wasn’t the baby in the book. Try, try again wasn’t working for us and only making things worse. I slowly began to learn that if nursing was going to work, it was going to happen on Joseph’s terms. I couldn’t force him to nurse! I learned that my baby is a unique individual and if something isn’t working – STOP!!! Try something different. But it’s a hard lesson to learn your first week on the job.

So I pumped for the first week, always trying stay one feeding ahead of schedule. It was tiring but far less stressful than nursing! Bottles were an easy, happy experience. The pediatrician recommended a wonderful lactation consultant. She did an in-home visit and noticed right away that something wasn’t right with Joseph’s neck and jaw. It was asymmetric and difficult to get lined up properly with my breast. She gave me a nipple shield to make it easier for Joseph to latch. Partly because of the lactation consultant’s observations, my son was diagnosed with torticollis (twisted neck) at 2.5 weeks old. We began physical therapy right away. I cried a lot those first weeks, probably PPD but I was too exhausted and stubborn to give in.

I used the nipple shield exclusively for 2 weeks, and Joseph began nursing sporadically again. Joseph often nursed in contorted positions due to his damaged neck muscle but at least he was nursing. Our problems persisted and with a lot of hard work Joseph began to latch without the nipple shield. After 2-3 months, nursing became the wonderful, joyful experience that my mom and aunts told me about.

Not surprisingly, our nursing relationship ended on Joseph’s terms. I had been gradually cutting down feedings when he was 12 months old, and a few weeks later he just refused to nurse. Such a strong-willed child since the day he was born – I have no idea who he got that from! J The emotions caught me off-guard. I was ready to be done but so sad that this beautiful part of our relationship was over. I’m so glad to have had my nursing experience.

Beth N.  Mom to Joseph

New Layout!!

Come on in and check out our new layout!!  Thanks to Becca at www.jumpingjaxdesigns.com we have a wonderful new look.  I couldn't be more happy with the finished product!

Also please notice our new button in the upper right hand corner.  If you would be so kind as to post it on your own blogs I would be very appreciative. 

The goal of this blog is to have a place for women to come to and read about all different kinds of breastfeeding experiences.  No two are exactly alike, but the hope is our readers will find a connection with some of the stories and feel like they are not alone in the amazingly simple gift. 

As we all know breastfeeding is not always simple, but it really is a gift for both baby and mom.  I hope to have more stories to post soon!

Hope you all like the new look.  Becca does wonderful work for us computer/time challenged mamas!

Best,
Emily

ONE YEAR!! :)

First off, I can't believe that it has already been a year since I started nursing, and my son was born!


Jacob was born early in the morning on Saturday April 18, 2009. I put him to the breast within 5 minutes of him being born, and he seemed to latch on just fine. I thought to myself, cool this is going to work great! After they cleaned him all up, and gave him back to me we headed to the mother and baby recovery area. He fell into that deep sleep, would wake and nurse and fall back to sleep. I figured that we were set and nothing was in our way with the nursing business. The lactation consultant had stopped by my room and watched a feeding, gave a few pointers, but was impressed that we were doing so well. Then that night, after the LC had left and gone home, I started having trouble getting Jacob to latch and stay nursing. After struggling with it for maybe an hour or two, I decided that maybe a walk around and a change of scenery would maybe help settle my nerves and we could try again.

While I was out walking the halls, one of the nurses came and walked with me! She wanted to make sure that I was ok, and if there was anything that she could do to help me. I was explaining to her the troubles that I was having and she asked if I would like some help. She was so nice and came in and spent over 2 hours helping me. With her help, I came to the realization that I have flat nipples and Jacob was having trouble latching. She suggested that we try a couple of different things to get him to latch and stay latched. The first thing that we tried was putting a few drops of formula on my nipple to give Jacob instant gratification and encourage him to start sucking. He would somewhat do this, but his latch was not good enough. She then suggested using a shield. I was not opposed to the shield, as I knew that my mom had to use one while nursing my younger sisters. She brought me a couple so that I could find what one fit the best and was the most comfortable. After finding the right one, we once again put a few drops of the formula on the tip to give Jacob something to go after. As soon as he realized that something was there he nursed for almost a full hour!

I continued to use the shield and drops of formula until my milk came in on day 3, as after it came in he would latch with the shield right away. Once I was released from the hospital, I started to work with the LC at our pediatrician’s office. She was also so very helpful with all my questions. We had to see her a few times the first 2 weeks of Jacob's life due to the amount of weight that he lost before my milk came in. But once it did and he started to be a champ a nursing, he started to put the weight back on. There have been many days that I thought along the way how nice it would be to wean from the shield, but it is what has allowed us to continue nursing for this long and will allow us to continue. I have always believed that because of the shield, I never had to deal with cracked or bleeding nipples. I never had the pain that some women complain of when they are first starting out with nursing. I also truly believe that because Jacob was so used to the rubber feeling of the shield, it made giving him a bottle of breast milk so much easier.

When Jacob was 1 month old at the recommendation of our pediatrician, we gave him his first bottle of BM. I pumped it, and my husband fed it to him. When he was first offered it, he gave my husband a weird look, but then realized that it was his normal milk and drank it right away. We never had any issues with it, and still do not. We also had no issues with him going between the breast and a bottle.

Now that we have reached a year of breast feeding, I have reached my initial goal. From here on out I will allow Jacob to determine when he wants to self wean. Since starting him on solids, I have noticed that his nursing sessions are getting shorter and he is getting close I believe to dropping one as he doesn't always want to nurse now before his nap. When I think of not nursing, at first it makes me sad as I will miss that bonding time that I have with him. But on the other hand I realize that he is growing and we can find other ways to bond.

In a nutshell, I have really enjoyed my nursing days and look forward to being able to do so with any future kids that Hans and I have. I am thankful for the shield as I don't know if we would have made it this long without it! I also want to encourage any moms that have to use one. It is not bad to use...the design of shields has come a long way in the years and they should no longer interfere with your supply according to the LC that I worked with.

I also want to encourage women to nurse your baby when they need to be nursed no matter where you are! I understand some women are uncomfortable about nursing in public (NIP) or are worried about what other people will say about them. Bottom line is that it doesn't matter what they think, you are feeding your child! No one thinks twice about a baby that has a bottle in its mouth, so why do we need to make a fuss about a nursing baby. I hate it when I have to read about women who fell the necessity to nurse or pump in the bathroom. I understand nursing in the car or at the back table in the malls' food court as I have nursed in those areas many times in the past year. If I am in a mall I will also go and use a stores dressing room as most stores are willing to let you do that.

Samantha 25 mom to Jacob 1 year

Breastfeeding helped me face the challenges of motherhood.

Anticipating the birth of my first baby boy, Colton, was joyous. I loved being pregnant and labor was great. I was a nurse at the hospital I worked, so there was an endless stream of visitors, happy friends and relatives. Our new baby was absolutely perfect, and we were thrilled. We were looking forward to getting to know our new addition and adjusting to parenthood together. I didn't know how soon things would change...

The day after we had Colton, my husband went home to shower and feed the dog. The phone rang in my room, it was an ER nurse I had worked with a few days before. My husband's father had a stroke and was coming in via ambulance, he was in critical condition. She needed my husband in the ER right away. My father-in-law spent the next month in ICU and was close to death several times from the massive injury to his brain. My husband spent everyday with him, helping his mother make medical descions and supporting his parents. Needless to say it was not the homecoming we had planned, but that's life.

I focused on my job of caring for our new little one. Like almost all moms, I didn't find breastfeeding easy in the beginning. Colton had a great latch at the hospital but when we got home we had some troubles. About day 2, my nipples were raw and I had to clench my teeth when he nursed, but that passed quickly, resolving within a day or two. I was so engorged my breasts were like rocks on my chest and the bags of frozen peas weren't helping. I had my husband pick up a cheap pump at the Wal-Mart on the way home from his daily hospital vigil. I used that cheap Evenflo pump with both my babies, best $40 ever spent! The pump did the trick and we were getting the hang of this breastfeeding stuff. I always tried to stay positive and not complain about anything. I didn't want my husband to feel like he had to care for his parents, me and Colton.

My breastfeeding challenges were pretty much overcome by week 2 and we never looked back. I never considered stopping breastfeeding, I just knew that we would be successful after we got over the learning curve. Being a mom was hard, tiring work but I could do it and I felt capable. Moms don't need to breastfeed to be good mothers, I know that. But overcoming the challenges to breastfeeding made me feel empowered, like my body was made to give birth and nourish my baby. When you stop and think about it, it's pretty amazing that we moms can make and deliver everything our babies need to survive and thrive right inside our bras! It's pretty cool when you think about it.

During my first month as a mother Colton was my constant companion in a mostly empty house and I was glad to have him. I missed my husband and I wished things would have worked out differently. There was a lot of sadness around me and a grim realization about living with a severely disabled person from now on. But, I had a new life to care for and he was my only priority, the mourning happened outside of my bubble that was relevant to me. I knew it was occurring and I could discuss it and sympathize, but not much more.

Figuring out how to be a mom is kind of a solitary journey for us all, you have to find your groove for yourself. Breastfeeding is leg of my journey, kind of rocky in the beginning but quickly became a frequent reminder that I could handle motherhood and the million challenges that come with it.

Helen - Co-founder of Milkies and mom to 2 little boys Henry 2 years and Colton 4 years old.

Check out her website at http://www.mymilkies.com/

It doesn't always turn out how you expected...

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I could not wait for the first moment that I was able to hold her and learn together how to breastfeed, the most natural of things that I could do to provide her with nourishment. After a failed induction ended in an emergency c-section my beautiful little girl was born with an infection which landed her in the NICU. I didn’t get to hold my daughter until about 12 hours after she was born which meant her first nourishment didn’t come from her mother; it came from a bottle. I never meant for her to be given even a single drop of formula. I was heartbroken.

The next day I was brought a pump. The nurse gave me a quick run through and left my room leaving me confused and miserable. I hooked myself up and turned it on. 30 minutes later I finally got a single drop. A drop? One drop? All that time sitting there by myself with this noisy machine resulted in one drop? I became even more heartbroken. Until I was wheeled to the NICU holding an eye-dropper that contained that one precious drop. The NICU nurse was excited. Excited over one drop? Seriously? Yes – because one drop is better than nothing. She pulled my little girl out of her little bed and carefully put the eye-dropper to her lips and my daughter finally drank up my liquid gold. That’s all I needed.

As soon as I was in the comfort of my own home, I became a pumping machine. I wasn’t going to allow my daughter to have any more formula. If I couldn’t bring her home with me, then at least she was going to have her mama’s milk. My alarm was set to go off every three hours. I was obsessed. Every morning I walked into the NICU with at least 6-8 tiny bottles of milk to feed my daughter. Twice a day while I visited, the nurses would help me latch her on. We struggled and she hardly got anything but we tried each time I came in.

25 days passed and the tests came back all clear. Her infection was gone and she was coming home. HOME! We packed up her things and placed her in her car seat and we left the hospital. Finally. The first thing we did when we arrived home? We sat down, mama and her little girl, and nursed. She nursed like she had never had a bottle. She knew that we were home. She nursed until she was 14 months old. And I’m thankful for every single second.

We celebrated her second birthday in December and her homecoming in January. And on the last day of February, we welcomed our son and I was finally able to have that very first special bonding experience only a nursing mother knows. And every three hours for the past 8 weeks, my son & I sit down and we stare at each other memorizing every detail of each other’s faces and he nurses.



Kate (28)
Mama to
Baby girl (2 years) and Baby boy (8 weeks)

"A New Lifestyle: My Breastfeeding Experience"

I remember the first day of our (husband and my) childbirth class the instructor asked “what most scares you about the upcoming labor/delivery/etc?” The majority of the mom’s in my class said breastfeeding. I on the other hand was more nervous about all the changes to come in our lives, breastfeeding I thought would either come natural or I would just formula feed, little did I know. I never created any kind of expectation of our breastfeeding experience.


Fast forward to the when Nicolas was born. He was a healthy little guy (6lbs 13oz) and I was in complete euphoria for about 24 hours. We were able to breastfeed within the first hour. He was a breastfeeding champ, had a good latch and wanted to nurse every 2-3 hours. My milk came in at 24 hours and the euphoria wore off. I cried, I was anxious, exhausted, overwhelmed and in pain. Although his latch was good, my breasts were very sore. He lost some birth weight but since my milk had come in, I knew he was going to be just fine.

The first night at home was exhausting; he nursed about 14 times in a 24 hour period. He was a hungry boy! I will never forget this, as I walked into the pediatrician (4 days since Nic was born), the receptionist said “oh, you look great”. Yet all I wanted to do was cry and tell her I was feeling like crap.

Nic had almost gained all his birth weight by 4 days and my lactation consultant was so encouraging. I don’t think I would have breastfeed for the year without her support.

I stuck with it; my sore nipples lasted about 5 weeks. It was painful but I knew if I could handle it for just a little longer it would eventually be 2nd nature. And by 6 weeks, the pain was a lot less and I started enjoying the breastfeeding experience.

Nic was thriving on breast milk and we were both happy. My baby blues finally subsided and at around 3-4 weeks and I started enjoying our time together.

I returned to work at 3 months and while it was very hard to leave him at daycare, I looked forward to the routine. I hated the uncertainty of each day. Nic nursed every 3 hours around the clock, so our day went like this, wake up 5:30am, nurse, shower and off to work, pump at 8:30am, 11:30am, 2:30pm, clock out at 3:30pm, pick him up by 4pm and nurse him at 5:30pm, nurse again at around 7pm and then try to get him ready for bed. He would then wake up around 9:30pm, 12:3am, and 3:30am. These were long days but they flew by.

We started to introduce solids at around 5 months and by 6.5 months my supply started to diminish. I tried everything to get it up, extra pumping, fenugreek, etc. Nothing worked and by 7.5 months my freezer stash was gone and we had to resort to formula. I was worried that he would refuse it but he was not a picky eater. The pumping stress sucked and I decided to stop worrying and let my body do what it needed to do.

I started to look forward to our nursing sessions. His little body would go limp and I loved feeling him so close. He was starting to become a little boy, no longer a baby.

I wanted to stop pumping by his first birthday but wanted to keep nursing morning and night and on weekends. I only pumped two times a day once he was about 10 months and then I dropped to once a day when he hit 11 months. I was barely pumping 2 ounces by this time. The last day I pumped was his birthday. I was sad because I knew this would be the beginning to the end of our breastfeeding experience. But I was happy to stop pumping, I hated it but I knew that my supply would not have held up if I would have stopped earlier.

We nursed morning and night for another month and then by 13 months he was down to one nursing session in the morning. He gave that up at 13.5 months. I don’t think he was ready to wean but my supply was not keeping up. So Nic had 13.5 months of breast milk. I never thought we would make it this long.

Those first few weeks were the hardest in my life. I thought I would never get time to myself again, I cried and mourned for the life I had and I didn’t know what we had gotten ourselves into. We slowly feel into our new normal and no longer thought about life without him. Months passed and I cherished every nursing session because I knew in the grand scheme of life 1 year is a blink of an eye. He is the reason I get up in the morning and go to work; he makes me want to be a better person so that I can be a better mom.

The best advice I ever got was never quit on a bad day and to think about breastfeeding as a life style not just a feeding method. Once I embraced the new lifestyle, I started enjoying and really cherishing those moments. Breastfeeding is not for everyone. I don’t judge moms that did not breastfeed very long or chose not to do so; it is such a personal decision. I had a great support system. My lactation consultant was amazing, my husband was supportive, my co-workers never made me feel awkward, the bump was a great resource, and finally kellymom.com was amazing. I hope this doesn’t scare too many future breast feeders but at the same time give a true account of the hardships and joys.

Natalia S. Mom to Nicolas

Drying out....

Our supply is totally Tanking - of stories for this blog that is!! 

(sorry for the awful breastfeeding humor... I am a little tired these days, and it doesn't take much to make me laugh!)

Can anyone help out and contribute a story? 
Maybe you know someone who would love to write an entry?

I know time is precious.  But I know I love reading these stories.  I hope we get some soon!

Thanks!  Hope everyone is having a wonderful April!  Happy Earthday!

(PS - there was a wonderful story submitted by a follower.  I tried to email you back to let you know the text was all messed up, and haven't heard from you.   I would love to share your story here, and don't want you to think I didn't put it up because I didn't like it.  Hope to hear back from you!)