Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Soft Boobs Make Me Sad

Because that means after nearly 6 months of breastfeeding (not exclusively, but still) we are nearing the end of weaning. Adrianna has even started to notice what is going on because our babysitter said that she has started to reject the bottle and is trying to nurse. It makes me much more sad that I thought it would have, too. Once I was done weaning Brock it was such a huge relief because we never really did hit our stride & it was incredibly stressful to try to breastfeed and then pump to prevent engorgement. Don't get me wrong, Brock loved to eat, just not directly from the source.

But even still--yesterday I was packing away some of my breastfeeding supplies and I came ::this close:: to breaking down and crying. I know that it's silly because we are planning on having at least one more baby so I will get to do this again and I surpassed my original goal (breastfeed longer the second time around) and will meet my newest goal (breastfeed until Adrianna is 6 months old).

I feel like when I'm breastfeeding her, she is 100% mine. Nobody else can give her what I am and I love love love when she falls asleep at the breast. She is absolutely heavenly to watch as she drifts off into sleep and her little lips barely part as she begins to take soft, even breaths. She usually has one of her tiny hands on my boob just to make sure that I don't try to sneak it away from her and there is always milk running out of those little chipmunk cheeks of hers. I know she will look the same when she is eating from a bottle as she is drifting off to dreamland, but it's just not the same.

Tara, age 26
Brock, age 2 1/2
Adrianna, age 6 months

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